Daring Greatly: Courage to Be Vulnerable

This book is an eye opener and a must read. It’s an easy read, and allows you to focus on adaptability, vulnerability while empowering self confidence.

Vale a pena ler

This is not the first book of Berne Brown that I have read- and like the others she does not disappoint. I bought this book during the pandemic but didn’t get around to reading it until recently. I realize the book was written in 2015- but still believe it is an excellent read and worth the time. Brown has an easy way of writing that you can really relate to. I actually had one of her other books as an audio book that she herself narrated- and could hear her voice as I read this book. The book is well written and an easy read- but full of good information to get you thinking about your own relationship with vulnerability. For anyone that wants to grow as a person in moving past the shame and emotional pain that can be life binding- this book is honestly a must read. I love her ideas on how to become shame resilient and make peace with vulnerability (still a work in progress here.). My only wish was that she went into more detail of ways to practice vulnerability for people who are not married or in a family situation. Difficulty with shame and vulnerability can keep some from ever finding a partner or starting a family- and no matter the age- when someone is trying to learn to embrace vulnerability and grow shame resilience without the support of a husband or parent- it is a different journey. Her ideas can most surely be extrapolated to all situations- but I admire her work and wish she was more complete in this area. Overall a great read. Happy to recommend.

“The phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” The speech, sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena,” was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910. This is the passage that made the speech famous:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”

The first time I read this quote, I thought, This is vulnerability. Everything I’ve learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson. Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.”

~ Brené Brown from Daring Greatly

Brené Brown is phenomenal.

Have you watched her TED talks yet? If not, get on that.

Here’s her first one: Listening to shame. And the second: The Power of Vulnerability.

Brené is one of the world’s leading researchers on shame and vulnerability and this book is a powerful manifesto on the importance of being willing to embrace our vulnerability and, as the title suggests, dare greatly.

She’s a funny, down-to-earth and brilliant writer. It’s the kinda book that deliberately makes you feel (more than) a little uncomfortable (especially if you’re a recovering perfectionist like me! :0) as we don’t tend to shine a lot of light on the less than pleasant stuff in our lives and psyche. But that discomfort is worth it as we, to use her words, take off our masks, drop our armor and learn to be vulnerable while daring greatly more consistently.

Let’s jump in with a quick look at a handful of my favorite Big Ideas:

1. Daring Greatly – What is it?
2. Wholehearted Living – Is where it’s at.
3. Vulnerability Hangovers – Have any lately?
4. Vulnerability Myths – Time for some debunking.
5. #1 Myth – Vulnerability = weakness. (Not true!)

… Well, that’s a *super* quick look at an amazing book. I hope you dug it and I hope you love the full thing and all of Brené’s work. May we each cultivate our hope, wholeheartedness, courage, compassion and connection as we step into the arena of our lives and dare greatly!

This is a good book with some great chapters. I liked Brown’s style of writing (personable and friendly), honesty and willingness to share some/many of her own “imperfections” that she writes about. I also like the words from her interviewees as they echo some of my own thoughts and voices in a variety of topics; it’s always nice to hear you are not the only one to feel/think a certain way.

Brown approaches a topic that stands as the elephant in the room in our modern lives: we are vulnerable to what others (including, and perhaps specially, our loved ones) do with, say about, think of, see in (etc) us. We are social beings, and as such it is almost inevitable to be impacted by this external perception and with it comes the problem of shame: shame of not being more/less of something, different than someone, or perhaps shame being who/what we are.

She explains that shame is a painful experience (quite literally actually), and thus we avoid it by not allowing ourselves to be vulnerable… the problem with this? You don’t get to choose which emotions you allow: block the undesirable ones and you will also block the good ones. However she comes with a very reasonable “solution”: don’t try to beat the or avoid problem of vulnerability but instead try to normalize it. This means that we learn to live with and through it, that we understand that this is a shared experience (one that everyone can relate to), that feeling is normal, that caring about others’ perception is inevitable and and that we can learn to lean into discomfort rather than away from it.

On the down side , 2 minor things I think she could have avoided:
1. The first chapters of the book emphasize a “never enough” culture, but this emphasis looked a bit artificial to me as if trying to coin a cool/new term (“the never enough culture”).
2. After the book is finished she goes into an extremely painful level of detail into the theoretical background of her research. To me this looked like an effort to make her work sound/look more serious/robust and not just a nice story. The audience for this is likely would be critica, but i believe this is an unnecessary level of detail.

But to round up in a good note, I repeat: this was a GOOD book, which I would recommend. 5 stars to the last two chapters on daring greatly as leaders in organizations, and as parents, respectively. 5+ stars to the “Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto” and to the selected quote from Theodore Roosevelt which I found remarkably appropriate to begin and to end the book.